But I wanted to feel something again, that old feeling so beautiful I can play it in a piano or sing in the shower, but I just can’t find it anymore. Some days you would hold my hand and I would tighten my grip. Why did her eyes stop shining like they hold the stars? Why did her laugh stop sounding like a melody and instead turned into a sad song? My mind would always take me there whenever I wake up, stare at my bedroom ceiling and ask myself, what went wrong? To that afternoon when the sky was gray but it wasn’t raining, to where everything felt so unreal yet the touch of your hand reassured me that it wasn’t. Sometimes I wish I don’t, but it doesn’t matter how fast I try to run or how many turns I take-my head would always lead me back to that day when I said the words and your eyes smiled like a shooting star. When you said I am the only choice you’d always make, even if one day I’d turn out to be a wrong decision. I would always replay this one certain memory when your voice sounded the softest and your words felt permanent. I could never stop looking back at all the things I could never hold again. I could never stop missing everything I could never feel again. You wanted me to forget the way to your heart, but I live there. But how could I do that when your arms were the only home I felt safe? How could I let go when the past is where I felt most alive. You said it became too hard to hold on to. We had too much love that you had to put it all down. ![]() ![]() You told me that you had to leave me in your past. A question you left hanging on the coldest night of winter, drifting through the dead air, with no one on the other line. ![]() I stopped being the answer, instead, I became your question. Do you remember that? Then things started shifting. “You said I am the only choice you’d always make, even if one day I’d turn out to be a wrong decision.
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